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i realized that money ALONE can't bring you happiness. what if you're so rich, you could buy all things, but have no one to talk to? Would you be happy? Would you be contented? Would you feel good eating those expensive dishes all on your own? Who would you talk to when you feel like the world is crushing down?

i thought that i can still be happy even if i don't have lots of friends as long as i have something to spend, something that can catch my attention. i am happy now, but there's a part of me that keeps on saying that, i need someone, someone i know i can be myself, someone who would not let me down. sometimes, money overcomes our relationship with other people. honestly, i tend to be friends with people who are not very, very cheap. you can't blame me, i hate to hear those, "treat me" stuffs, and i hate being called rich kid, 'cause i'm not, i'm just average. but the weird thing is, those kind of people are the ones i always end up being friends with. maybe this is just a test, maybe the world wants me to realized something. i know for a fact that you can't judge a book by its cover, but it's hard to close my eyes from reality. now, i have become open-minded, because people like me will just leave me. they have money, they have many things to do, and they can easily forget me. so now, i'm really trying hard to change my perspective about this.

i met someone, i thought we could be BFFs 'cause she's part Chinese. but now i realized, even though she likes to be with me, and i feel the same way, it will never be the way that i wanted. we both like to keep each other. But the more we try, the more we push each other away. she treats me, so i should not despise her. but i don't know, i still feel awkward. we're not talking right now, and i really miss her. i want to be with her, but something keeps on separating us. aaaaah... my story is so nonsense.

to cut it short, i just realized that money isn't everything. and i really miss someone.