o give me peace, please

this is how i EXACTLY feel

I can't explain it.

I don't like to be left alone, I don't like to reflect upon the incidents of life that suggest sadness. I don't know why things affect me to the point where I don't even recognize how much they affect me until it's become clear that I am not as happy as I used to be. I used to enjoy the time I got to myself, to just chill and relax but now, being left alone is like a dagger that slowly works it's way to my heart and I seek constant company. Sometimes I feel like i just want to be sad, by myself, so I can get over being sad, as if there's a required amount of sadness that I must fulfill in order to move on. Move on from what? There's nothing really significant to be sad about, and on a normal basis I am genuinely happy. It's just the times I am left to myself, or the times where no one is speaking to me, where I have time to reflect that recently seems to make me distressed. Maybe I'm contemplating what went wrong, why it went wrong, and what happened? I don't know. That's why you'll constantly see me singing to myself. Singing is therapeutic. Singing keeps me from thinking about any problems in life and brings me to a sense of happiness because when I'm singing I don't have time to be thinking about the sad things, I'm just stuck in a world of happiness, even if it's an emo song.

i am so mad again.................... we're not speaking................... and she did nothing good to me................. please forgive me................. but i can no longer control my temper.................. i am such a dork