not anymore

and here i am blogging instead of sleeping because most probably (i hope not!) there'll be classes tomorrow. why is it not raining anymore? sometimes it's there but most of the time it's missing. i was visiting the site or blog of other people who are living in the States and i feel so envious. i think that even though i leave my motherland, i won't be leaving anything behind. if i go with my family, then i'm almost complete. i feel like i have no true friends here, like if i leave now no one would care or worst no one would notice. the people i treasured most are not keeping in touch with me. i'm double D--depress and desperate! i want to go somewhere where no one knows me, where i can start a new life, and hopefully meet the people i've been waiting my whole life. i just want to have lots of true friends, that will brighten up my day, make me smile, and spend time with me. i'm 18, i feel old, yet i haven't found 'em. my only hope is to go somewhere...cause i don't think i'll find them here. so here, even though i have nothing to do, i still chose not to sleep because my heart's not happy. but i can't do anything, i'm stuck. if only they understand how i am feeling. i hope one day my wish will come true, i'll be waiting, and i hope it'll not be too late when it comes. can someone please, love me for me?

i want us together, even just in a photograph.